GPS Insights

Rev. Anne Williams is the Congregational Care pastor for members of the Resurrection family who have last names beginning with S-Z.

Last week, a member of my small group suggested we all get together on Friday night at a particular sports bar in town for dinner. I remember thinking to myself that the idea seemed a little strange, since this friend of ours is not a sports fan. I asked him, “Why a sports bar? Is there a game on you wanted to watch?” He replied that there was not, he just thought it seemed like a good place to go. Didn’t make sense to me, but we went anyway. Later I understood why we were at that restaurant.

There were ten or so of us in all. When we arrived, I recognized our waiter immediately but I couldn’t place the face. I said, “How do I know you?” He said, “We met at Church of the Resurrection. You helped me out at the church a few months ago”. He was right except one thing. I wasn’t the one who helped. The help provided through the church came from the Member Assistance Fund. (The offering plates you see once a month at each communion station for the unemployed in our congregation.)

We explained we are a small group from Resurrection, having a social night out together and he spent the rest of the evening thanking us passionately and explaining how much the church means to him. We received so much gratitude and thanks for what you – the greater congregation had done through your generosity.

I wish so much you could have seen the tears welling up in his eyes as he thanked us for the moment of grace that helped him get his young family back on their feet. That night, I was reminded that we don’t always get to see the fruits of our generosity but we must trust that somehow God uses even the smallest acts of generosity help heal our world and to transform lives.

Darren Lippe helps facilitate Journey 101 “Loving God” classes, guides a 6th-grade Sunday school class, is a member of a small group & a men’s group, and serves on the Curriculum team.

Considering today’s Scripture, I was wondering how an author like Paul would fare in today’s marketplace.  Here’s how it might play out:

Ed I. Tur: (Rushing in) Sorry to be late.  There was a fracas in the hallway between two of my proofreaders.  They were fighting over the spelling of barbecue verses barbeque.  They knocked over a table of contents, split an infinitive, & tore holes in their dust jackets.  So, you have a book idea to pitch?  Is it about vampires, zombies, or Abraham Lincoln?

Chris T. Ian: (Slowly shaking head) No, it’s a collection of letters offering insights & advice.

Ed: Ah, advice about how kill zombies or to spot a vampire or to talk like Abraham Lincoln?

C: Um.  No.  It’s really about helping people to live lives that model Jesus Christ.

Ed: O-k-a-y  (Putting pen down.)  Give me an example of what you are talking about.

C: Well, first we are urged to show compassion to others.  We need to let our hearts be moved to demonstrate mercy to those in need.  We need to rid our hearts of indifference to the sufferings of others.  It could be as simple as not raising a ruckus over service that is below par at a restaurant or being understanding as you talk with I.T. folks when the computer network goes down for the 3^rd time that day.

Ed: Compassion.  Check.

C: We also are to be kind to those in our midst.  Not everything in life is a zero-sum game.  It is possible to help others without necessarily losing our own position, power, or prestige.  We could build up a colleague at work & praise their effort, without feeling as though we are hurting our own standing.

Ed: Kindness. Huh.

C: We are to be humble in our daily dealings.  It is so easy to be conceited or vain or think we are the “Cat’s Meow.”  But, we are all God’s children.  Our address, our bank statement, our appearance do not make us more important than anyone else.  Everyone we meet is one of God’s best friends & is worthy of our very best.

Ed: Humility.  Okay.

C: We need to be gentle in how we talk & act.  The world is already a harsh place with severe consequences for mistakes that might be made.  It doesn’t mean we can’t be stirred to anger, but rather we choose the proper times to be angry, i.e. like Jesus throwing the moneychangers out of the Temple.

Finally, there is patience where…

Ed: (Interrupting) Look, I really don’t have time for all this.  These all sound like nice habits to form, but there really isn’t much demand for these ideas.

We live in a world that is filled with apathy; no one wants to show compassion.  Our peers & competition would quickly take being kind to others as a sign of weakness.  If you want your 15 minutes of fame, you can’t possibly be humble.  Gentleness has no place in this economy, when we have to fight for everything we can get.  And with so many demands on our schedule, who has time for patience?

C: You are right.  Human nature is no longer geared to demonstrate these traits.  But perhaps they are qualities we need to re-learn.  It needn’t be all at once; it could as simple as starting the day with the promise to try to be more gentle & compassionate as we go about our daily routines.

If we could develop these habits, wouldn’t our homes be like an oasis or retreat?  Wouldn’t we be eager to get to work each day?  Wouldn’t it be fun to shock someone with kindness?  It could be a day full of pleasant surprises.

Ed: Hmmm.  Maybe we could create a character like Vlad, the kindly vampire, or Zelmo the compassionate zombie, you know like Casper the Friendly Ghost.  If it’s all right with you let’s visit again.  In the meantime, I need to see if my proofreaders can turn over a new page.  Thanks for coming in.

Rev. Glen Shoup is the Executive Pastor of Worship and Congregational Care pastor for those who have last names beginning with J – L.

Why is forgiveness so hard?  Why is it so confoundingly difficult to authentically let go…and keep on letting go of the wrongs, misjudgments and abuses that we endure at the hands of others?  I could tell you stories of people I’ve encountered and pastored through the years (some here at Resurrection and others in other places) who have literally spent decades paralyzed with bitterness and anger because of what someone had said or done to them dozens of years earlier.  This hurt that lay incarcerated in their own prison of unforgiveness filtered the way they viewed the past, twisted the way they encountered the present, and predetermined the way they thought about the future.  Sadly I could tell you many such stories—but I don’t need to…because you already get it.  You don’t need me to illustrate so that you might understand how this could be the case, because you intuitively—if not experientially—understand how this could be the case.  But why?  Why is this, too often, the case?

Well it would be arrogant and probably short-sighted if I asserted that I knew all the reasons why forgiveness can be so hard, but I have been at this (life and pastoral ministry) long enough to know a good chunk of the reasons why. Forgiveness feels like laying down the right to have my hurts recognized, validated, affirmed or accepted.  Forgiveness means that I’m going to have to let go of my right to get even…and thus, let go of my desire for vindication.  Forgiveness feels like all the times I’ve been overlooked, ignored, run-over and disregarded aren’t going to matter or get noticed.  Forgiveness feels unfair! 

And you know what, Forgiveness is unfair.  And if fairness were the highest value, if fairness were the pathway to healing and fairness were the provider of peace—then forgiveness would be a profoundly inadequate notion…because Forgiveness is categorically unfair.

But then you and I have got to figure out what we’re going to do with Jesus as it relates to our appetites for fairness.  Because Jesus comes along and says “hey (insert your name here) Glen”…let me tell you a thing a two about being overlooked, ignored, run-over and disregarded.  You want to talk about the hurt of not being recognized, validated, affirmed or accepted—you want to talk about being rejected and abused…I can tell you a little bit about that.  When it comes to being falsely accused, abandoned and alone…Glen I’ve got some experience with that. Listen, I actually know more about being belittled and mocked than most and I know what it means to simply want some fairness.  But I also know that forgiveness can deliver what fairness never can—Freedom.  Forgiveness can liberate, set free and bring peace—where fairness can only deliver retribution.  This is why I’ve chosen to forgive you—knowing everything you’ve ever done, every thought you’ve ever entertained, every word you’ve ever spoken—I’ve chosen to forgive you rather than be fair with you—because I want you to be free and I want you to free others.  Ya, I know they don’t deserve it, but giving away what people don’t deserve (and not giving them what they do deserve) is what I’ve modeled for you and that’s called Grace.  And grace can heal what fairness can’t even touch—so (insert your name) Glen—that’s why I’m telling you (and will empower you) to forgive.

Forgiveness is hard principally because it’s unfair.  But while fairness matters, healing, freedom and peace matter more—and according to Jesus—forgiveness is the only pathway to what matters most!

Rev. Steven Blair is the Congregational Care pastor of Celebrate Recovery and Live Well Emotional Wellness Ministry.

Selective Amnesia
WEDNESDAY 5.8.13   Genesis 50:15-21

Pastor Adam shared that ever relationship will require both people being able to say the following six words “I am sorry” and “ I forgive you.”    How does forgiveness work?

One of common suggestions for forgiveness is to “forgive and forget.”  You have undoubtedly heard that advice.  You may have even tried to follow the advice only to be frustrated by the sheer impossibility to forget the other person’s actions.  This frustration could even turn to self criticism as a person who must not be able to forgive like Jesus wants us to.   I struggled mightily with forgiveness because I was equating it with a full amnesia of past wrongs.

One day, in a Burger King in Western Illinois I read these words from the theologian Paul Tillich who Adam also quoted in this past weekend’s message.  Tillich wrote:

“Forgiving presupposes remembering. And it creates a forgetting not in the natural way we forget yesterday’s weather, but in the way of the great ‘in spite of’ that says: I forget although I remember. Without this kind of forgetting no human relationship can endure healthily.”

 Did you hear that?  “I forget although I remember.”  That is different than ‘forgive and forget.’   We cannot forget what a person did to us the same way that we forget what clothes we wore 88 days ago or what the high temperature was 172 days ago.   That is impossible. What we can do is affirm “Even though I remember, I choose to forget.”  I choose to release the other person from the sting of their wrong doing.  I choose to not let this past continue to be toxic to my future.  I choose to gift myself with peace rather than resentment.

I see this happening in the story of Joseph.  Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, separated from his father, and sold into years of slavery which also included years of imprisonment for a wrong that he did not do.  Joseph had ample reasons to remain resentful.  Completely forgetting what his brothers did would have been impossible.  But …

But, with God strengthening him Joseph was able to forgive his brothers.

 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.  Genesis 50:19-21

In other words, “Even though I remember, I choose to forget.”  The result of Joseph’s actions was spending the rest of his days in community with his brothers rather than imprisoned by his own actions.

God does the same.  When we ask God for forgiveness, God does not immediately delete our past mistakes from His memory.  He looks at you and I (and the cross) and says “I choose to forget what you have done.” 

How can you practice this selective amnesia today? 
Who do you need to forgive, even though you remember?”

Steven Blair
Pastor of Celebrate Recovery and Live Well Emotional Wellness Ministry
Twitter username:     @revsteven