Thursday 4.14.11 Lenten Reflection by Terry Gwin

At The Church of the Resurrection since 1998, Terry Gwin is active in Alpha, leads a small group, and serves in the church’s security ministry and the RezRiders motorcycle ministry.

As a child I attended Sunday school for a short time. Like many others I learned about all the stories in the Bible, but I didn’t know God. I didn’t have a relationship with Him. I knew about Him, but I didn’t know Him.

For the next 35 years I lived with what many describe as a giant hole in my life. I was lost, trying to fill that “hole” with one thing after another, only to find it was all very temporary. Before long I was back looking for something else to fill that “hole.” I had no moral compass and no sense of direction. I was quick to deny that there was a God. I took His name in vain without the slightest hesitation or remorse. My behavior was so rebellious and disrespectful to Our Creator it is indescribable. I looked at Christians as weak-minded and boring.

But I also asked, Was this all there is to life? Was I destined to stumble through life like this? I was aware that as a human being, I was unique in all the universe. Was it possible I was created by coincidence? Not likely, but by whom and why? Could there be a Creator? I came to realize that whoever created me must have loved me a great deal to have given me the great gifts of being able to think, reason and love.

Finally, I thought, “Everything on earth is there for my use and pleasure. Why not begin to investigate the Bible?” Maybe it would have the answers I was looking for. As I began to read and understand, it became clear to me that God had been with me all the time, protecting me and preparing me for something better. Slowly I began to change on the inside. I was becoming a better man and I liked it very much. I was hungry to know God better.

I’m still amazed by how God could love me after the terrible, indescribable things I’d done, but He did. Even when He let me endure hardship, I was blessed with knowledge and understanding I wouldn’t have known without God. So I tell you, if God can love me he can love anyone. I wake each morning ready to experience a new day of wonder at His love and plan for my life.

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